Business: AwesomeAsAOne
Owner: Allegra
What: Fabric zipper pouches
First Impression: Allegra does one thing and she does it well. By focusing on zippered pouches only, she's been able to crank out an impressive number of sales in her first few months on Etsy.
Helpful Suggestion/Criticism: You specialize in pouches, you work with fabric and zippers, so why does your Etsy banner have a close up photo of a leaf? Make a new banner featuring either a photo of your pouches, some interesting photo of a zipper, a pile of fabric, anything that would relate more directly to your product.
Once again, I think consistency of photography would make your Etsy page more appealing. Your pouches are photographed against a variety of backgrounds, sometimes being held by someone, sometimes not. I say pick one "theme" and stick to it. I like this photo of someone holding the pouch in front of a tree trunk. Maybe consider photographing all your pouches in this way. Then when you get a spot in a treasury or on the front page, your photo will be instantly recognizeable as yours, even without seeing the shop name ("hey, that's the shop that photographs pouches in front of trees.")
You have a blurb in your Shop Announcement section about how the name of your shop came to be. This is helpful because the name is unique. However, I didn't realize that was what you were trying to tell me until I finished reading the paragraph since you start out talking about a video you watched in 5th grade. Consider putting a small note at the beginning of the story: "This is the story of how AwesomeAsAOne came to be" so that the first thing a customer reads on your page doesn't confuse them. Or, move the story to your Profile page and instead, put a note on the Shop Announcement saying "See my profile to learn about the origin of my unique shop name." That frees up space on the Shop Announcement section to post info about sales, vacation days, etc.
Alright, time to open it up for comments. Take a look at AwesomeAsAOne and let us know what you think. Am I on target with these suggestions or way off base?